so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
