Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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