Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
NoShamevember. You game?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
