P.S. I can't hear my feet
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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