This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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