yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
