DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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