look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I will pee on everything he values.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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