you didnt know i had herpes?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
