"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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