I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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