the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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