in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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