Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
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