I hate your face
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize