Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Sext me about skeletons
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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