how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
