If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
