Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
