Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
