Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
