Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
