I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
