I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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