is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
