Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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