sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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