i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Randomize
