I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
