i need an iv and a liver transplant
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
