Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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