What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
