And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
