Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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