I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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