i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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