YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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