Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
