well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
