Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
