Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
