Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize