Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
