toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i now understand why vodka
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
