Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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