and next time when you feel me up, do it right
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
