discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
