He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
