I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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