and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
