We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
