Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize