I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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