'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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