You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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