are you so shy because you have an std?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
