Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
