I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
