whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
