She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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