My Higher Power is John Stamos
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
